Easing the way to recovery

Sky News Money Panel has advised the Bank of England to indulge in a little "quantitive easing" to help counteract the global slump, by printing £150bn or so worth of readies for circulation among the hoi polloi to enable us to buy goods and services and thereby kick-start the economy - click on caption for the article in question.

When some gifted members of the International Brotherhood of Forgers and Paperhangers, that I once encountered during my erstwhile official duties a few decades ago, did something similar through the means of private enterprise, artistic skills and an adapted printing press, they definitely created some monetary fluidity - something of a boom for a while in fact. However the subsequent bust - theirs - resulted in the architects of that recovery plan receiving between 10 and 15years porridge for their public spiritedness.

When private entrepreneurs do it, it's called forgery, uttering forged currency and conspiracy to defraud. When governments do it, that's called 'quantitive easing' apparently, even if they run countries that are bankrupt. The crooks of the Hungarian Circle conspiracy of whom I speak, were probably a lot less evil than those involved in the current official global scams. In fact I am led to believe that one or two of them were hired from time to time after their release, to surreptitiously advise certain members of governments on how to 'paperhang' and where to invest their own personal cuts from the proceeds. All pro bono publico, of course. It's a funny old world. I'm off to Ebay now to see whether I can pick up an old printing press. There's some quantitive easing to be done, my parlour needs papering and I would like to ease poverty throughout the world, particularly in my neck of the woods.