Bloody Scott

Solved - Obambi in the Woods

2009-07-04T19:38:00.002Z

Brother Tim sez: "the only saving grace with Bush was he knew he was in over his head. O'bama on the other hand... has no clue."

Mug the Mullahs with Music

2009-06-30T21:23:00.003Z

Gerard Vanderleun highlights You Tube's contribution to the attempted revolution in Persia. Pleasant to the ear, angst for the Ayatollah.

Please network the link (click on caption).

Melanie as Hercules - I'll ride shot gun!

2009-06-21T23:50:00.003Z

Read Melanie Phillips' barnstorming piece in the Daily Mail today. Click on caption for link.

Not a wasted word and every one true. Get your wellies on, gal! To the Augean stables, SW1. I'll bring the high pressure hose. Trouble is, I suppose, the resultant effluent would pollute the Thames for at least two centuries. Perhaps the m.o. of Guy Fawkes is preferable, but not the bumbling execution of same. Just a short sharp shower of shit over Southwark, Surrey and Sussex. The wind is bound to be from the North - global warming, ennit?

Get yer Trousers on M'Lud - You're Nicked!

2009-06-19T23:23:00.004Z

Investigation? What's to investigate? Half of them have coughed already and some have even paid back the ill gotten gains to try to avoid the boys in blue. Just roll up with a tender Inspector Knacker and pick 'em off one by one. There is a mountain of prima facie evidence. Charge 'em, get a lay down for a month and line up the Daily Telegraph team as prime witnesses, that'll start the ball rolling. What a shame Bert Wickstead isn't still around - a dawn raid on the PoW with the tabloids tipped off before the action. Just get Nipper Reed out of retirement. I'll bet there's more ratfinks in the Westminster gasworks than in the Cosa Nostra. Better start arranging safe houses for the snitches. After all they are pretty used to 'flipping'. Haaaahahahahaaaa!

They're not using Yates of the Yard again are they?

What a charade! Tony Wright on Newsnight tonight was, with the help of his mate and propaganda midwife Kirsty Walk, taking the piss big time. Bumptious boggled-eyed little bleeder. What a hypocrite! Remember his posturing during the previous fiasco of Cash for Honours?

What with that and Question Time's show trial last night, the whole feckin' pantomime has become beyond any sort of parody. I can hear Gramsci's ghost laughing from cloud nine. "Just as I planned!"

Call a general election, Gozza, before you morph into Charles Laughton playing The Hunchback. The bells ....the bells! You have presided over the biggest conspiracy to defraud the people of Great Britain in its history you Scottish gargoyle, everything from petty fiddling to sluicing the nation down Barking Creek to drift over to 'Le Contenong' to manure the gardens of the Palaces of the Euromafia.

Scotland Yard is investigating indeed! Really??

Shit-or-Get-Off--the-Pot Time Obambi

2009-06-19T01:29:00.004Z

Melanie Phillips posted a seminal piece on Iran on June 16 captioned: 'Oh Dear, How Inconvenient For the Whitehouse.' A lively debate has followed since then and tonight I fired off the following comment, having contributed earlier a few times - some 'moderated' some printed. I fear this one will not get past the censor as I have damned the head honcho of the Speccie with faint praise:

The pussyfooting on Iran by the MSM is deluded. Gerard Vanderleun on American Digest blog explains why in pictures. Riveting! No words needed:

http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/iwar/tehran_demonstr.php

What is about to happen there can go one of two ways: a deal between Dinnerjacket and Mousavi brokered by the Mullahs; or a brutal crack-down.

Either way makes all other petty partisan political issues pale into insignificance. And Bill O'Reilly has said tonight that he has been informed by sources close to Obama that the POTUS is hog-tied by a deal that was struck by Bush with the Mullahs to quell Muqtada al-Sadr in return for a free pass pro tem.

At the moment Al-Sadr is 'in counselling'. If this is true it's put up or shut up time, as there are many thousands of Americans troops in jeopardy in Iraq and Afghanistan at the sharp end and if al-Sadr is let loose in Iraq again.... But then, if the wheel comes off, we're all at the sharp end!

And of course QT tonight was devoted mainly to putting our sleazy pygmy politicians in the stocks; giving Polly Gruniad a chance to wear her baubles and prejudices and slip in a plug for proportional representation and letting Esther Rantzen prove beyond any doubt why we should refrain from voting for Independent Candidates in any General Election that may be deigned by the current Administration.

It also gave Charlie Faulkner, the man who usurped the office of Lord Chancellor, then destroyed it, to make the most hypocritical denunciation of Brown that I have so far seen; and that must be a Guinness Book of Records jobbie. At least Don Scotia Nostra of 'This Week' (and this parish) covered Iran in some depth - albeit giving Obama a free pass, as usual. I was pleased to see that even The Proclaimers have accepted that Cameron will defeat Brown in the General Election (unless our barmy dictator really flips, declares Brown Rule in Perpetuity and thereby causes HM QEII to find three suitable duly authorised officers to deem him and make him King of Ealing in a quiet room in St Bernard’s). He'd probably settle for that just now, in view of Lord Butler's drubbing over the Independent Iraq War Inquiry”.

A New Collins Frictionary

2009-06-17T17:20:00.003Z

For those who occasionally visit this pasture and who not already aware, Dan Collins has broken free from the confines of Protein Wisdom and set up on his own (for URL click on caption). I'm sure his posts will continue to be erudite, lively, controversial and quirky. We wish him luck in his new venture: a gentleman, scholar and reputed Anglophile, his work has brightened many a dull and anxious day for many and this lost soul in particular.

Mother of Parliament or Parliament of Mother --s?

2009-05-19T00:52:00.006Z

The TV pictures of the pathetic disarray in the House of Commons, beamed around the world today, irreparably damages our Monarchy, our Constitution and our standing in world affairs. The ugly ignoramus who could not even read the apology that had been drafted by his corrupt minders and who manifestly displayed his complete ignorance of the procedures that he is employed to administer and invigilate, has presided over and indulged himself in almost a decade of venality that makes Sir Robert Walpole look straight by comparison. The Queen should act, not with a nod and a wink, but by firmly demanding Gordon Brown's resignation, then she should prorogue (and de-rogue) Parliament and call an election. If he refuses, she must call upon the Head of the Armed Services, Sir Jock Stirrup, and the Commissioner of Police for the Metropolis, Sir Paul Stephenson, to arrest Brown and detain him. They should then organise a general election with the assistance of all the senior civil service mandarins. All the MPs (and the Speaker) exposed as corrupt and venal should be arrested, charged and remanded in custody until after the election. Failing this, the Daily Telegraph and the Daily Mail should collaborate in organising the biggest demonstration over convened in this country to march first the Palace of Westminster, then Buckingham Palace, demanding a general election. Moreover, I want my money back you thieving bastards!

The Gimp that is... England!

2009-05-05T19:56:00.000Z

Anybody home?

Sauce for the Goose ...

2009-04-11T15:35:00.005Z

Rod Liddle carries The Cross in the Spectator this weekend (click on title for link), penning a brave denunciation of the pusillanimous Archbullshitter of Canterbury for his failure to resist Islamic encroachment both in the UK and abroad. As it was a somewhat lengthy treatise, I proffered the following redacted version, for the commentary box, which didn't make the cut:

"Rod , permit me try to summarise your comprehensive, albeit somewhat prolix, article for those who haven't the time to fully absorb your whimsical and informative prose:

Dr Rowan Williams, as the embodiment of the Anglican Church, having been smote on the cheek by the 'mozzies', has not only in accordance with Christ's teachings 'turned the other cheek', but also offered to part the posterior cheeks of his Church, ready for a good shafting by Big Mo. Would Christ approve of the latter submission? Who knows? I know there have been rumours for the past couple of millennia, but I suspect that perhaps he would have adjudged that a couple of cheeks too far.

Is that a fair synopsis?"

Obviously Rod thought not. Or perhaps the moderator spiked it on the grounds of bad taste, blasphemy, or fear of a fatwa. If so, perhaps the article itself should have been censored under the same criteria; particularly as Rod is a sinner with a rap sheet as long as the Dead Sea scrolls.

Castration of the Nation

2009-04-05T11:39:00.004Z

Having just posted a comment on Gerard Vanderleun's American Digest (on the 'Traditionally American Presidents Do Not Bow Down to Kings' thread) I repeat a slightly emended version here because that thread may already be dormant - Gerard having moved on to more optimistic topics:

"Whatever benefits may have emanated from the Internet in general and the blogospshere in particular have all been utterly negated by its enabling this front man of an unholy alliance of crooks, ideologues and enemies of the West to usurp the power of the POTUS.

And today, just to prove my point, accompanied by his brittle Amazonic Marxist minder (in her ill-fitting haute couture) and, coincidental to a mad Asian communist tyrant flashing his dick to the West by launching a fizzer into space, Obama, apparently to underline the threat steps on the world stage in Europe and, with the aid of the teleprompter and his shyster's drawl - while flashing his own empty scrotum to the world - declares that he also intends to neuter the United States of America to assist the Internationalist Socialist cause. And he was cheered by a starry-eyed and mesmerised audience that, of all people, should know better having been rescued from both the Nazis and the USSR by the Americans over the last seven decades of history. What hope is there for us?"

One thing is certain, Gerard, your Mary Poppins post today failed to erase (for me anyway) the infamy of your President's words in Eurabia yesterday.

The Grovelling Generation of Gramsci

2009-04-01T16:23:00.004Z

The assinine Nick Clegg, the 'Leader' of the libdem losers is reported to be miffed by his failure to obtain an audience with the Obamessiah of the Chicago mob during his cavorting in the UK, reports James Forsyth on the Coffee House blog (click on title for link). I was moved to respond with the following comment, which is unlikely to get past the 'moderator' so excuse me while I let off steam here:

"This clamour to kiss Obama's ass is disgusting; what a nation we have now become! Roll up the red carpet and tell this wooden mouthpiece of multi-mobbery and neo-Marxist thuggery to piss off back to corrupt Chicago where he belongs with his shyster sidekicks and backers. Cameron should have either given him the cold shoulder, or a bollocking, for trying to jig up another Ponzi scam with yet another socialist sub-agenda; if Cameron has anything in common with him and his henchman/wimmin then the Tories have the wrong leader. As for Richard Kay and the juvenile Clegg: two further examples of national decline! Except in their case they are risible rather than dangerous.

How my heart aches for what once was and will never be again.

England O England
Why have we failed you?
Betrayed your dead heroes;
Squandered their blood and
Dishonoured their sacrifice?
Shame on a craven generation
Of destructive decadence!
Lower the Royal Standard.
Beat the Retreat.
Dissolve into deep disgrace
And demeaning Dhimmitude...
We are done for!"

More Random Paranoia from the States

2009-03-21T15:09:00.002Z

From the Bordering on Fringe Collection:

Guns & Ammo - shortages of ammunition persist - in particular 9mm ammunition - across the States. Whether shopping Wal-Mart or Cabelas (an outdoorsman outfitter chain) or a local gun shop, 9mm is mighty hard to find. Shotgun shells are fairly bountiful yet, but there is a massive shortage surrounding 9mm and more common rounds used by assault weapons. As mentioned previously, it appears that the anti-gun lobbyists (unable to accomplish an assault weapons ban) are now targeting ammunition used by said weapons. See this article here: http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=92095 - this news source is relatively fringe in terms of content focus, though not tabloid-esque.

I recently visited one of the local outfitters and asked the folks at the gun counter how business was - they reported that it continues to be very to extremely swift... both in new/used gun purchases and ammunition - hard-to-finds in terms of weapons are, of course, more traditional assault rifles and 9mm handguns - as such, I am told people are shifting to smaller "tactical weapons" (short carbines, etc.).

From the almost, but not quite, Kingdom of Nigh (pretty out there stuff) Collection:

The Pending Pandemic - always fun to mull over - the next major Pandemic - AIDS does't really count, now that the legions of afflicted in the Western World can be preserved for some time through pharma-coctails - re: Magic Johnson - although we have hit a Centers for Disease Control figure of >3% in the DC Metropolitan Area. The rates in Africa are terribly high, but again, now that the West can band-aid it it seems to have lost its immediacy in the minds of the proletariat and bourgeoisie (as well as the ruling elite). So that leaves us with Bird Flu - http://rense.com/general85/dsd2.htm - now if'n you believe even for a second that there is some sort of global manipulation going on in the affairs of Man, then this will shiver your spine - on the other hand, if you believe corruption stops at the UN and other supra-national organizations, then this is just more lunacy.

Of FEMA Camps, Cuban Missle Crisis Deux, Stagflation, Chinese Repomen, Ammo Shortages, and other Obamanations

2009-03-15T23:19:00.003Z

I find it interesting to track all manner of media, whether "fringe" or mainstream. And in so doing, it is pretty neat to note when one spills over to the other, or bubbles up (or out), depending on how you see it.

Anyway, for the sake of content, I provide the following hap-hazard list of themes out among the sites I frequent for news, News, or NEWS.

1) we have our first Halfrican-American, bona fide hyphenated President. Yet, is he truly a native son of los estados unidos? The sticky questions surrounding his legitimacy is not going to go away soon. One wonders why Hawaii just doesn't make his birth certificate available.
2) many have stated, quite incorrectly, that El Presidente is just like another JFK. Of course, any student of history can shoot down this comparison, but it is pervasive. The comparison holds, however, with respect to his rapid ascendancy and the fact that the Russians are going to park bombers in Cuba again.
3) Stagflation is a bitch. Shit economy... with massive influx of dollars will result in this. I am still saying the Dow bottoms out at 5500 and unemployment (now at 8%) will reach 15%. The Summer of Hell is upon us.
4) FEMA Camps - urban legend... or reality? Google it. It's at least spooky to think about the not-so-wonderful reasons why we have so many across the States.
5) Chinese Repo Men - I postulated last Summer to my neighbor that eventually the Chinese would use their financial leverage of our leverage against us. How this will shape up is interesting. What I do know is that we will be seeing red one way or another. My gut check tells me the Chinese have been waiting a very long time to flog the old US of A. Pretty much game-set-match on this. How will they collect their assets, one wonder aloud.
6) Google "US Ammunition Shortages" or check out some of the on-line gun and ammunition shops. Pay particular attention to how much of the stuff is out of stock. Since Obama's election, Gun sales in the US have grown some 10-fold. The thinking is either buy them while you can... or I wanna make sure when it comes time for squatters rights to replace the social contract, better to go out shooting than to be rounded up without a shot being fired. Which returns some minds to FEMA Camps.

Time to kiss our asses goodbye, me thinks. Who will carry the flag?

Royal Prerogative

2009-03-07T10:14:00.004Z

Honours for a Coward

Oh Mary Jo he let you down;
Oh Mary Jo he let you drown.
And now he goes to London Town
For honours from the British Crown?
For services to Gordon Brown?

Her Majesty should not agree
To this egregious travesty.
She simply must not let it be.
No KBE for cowardly
Edward Moron Kennedy!

Easing the way to recovery

2009-03-05T00:29:00.006Z

Sky News Money Panel has advised the Bank of England to indulge in a little "quantitive easing" to help counteract the global slump, by printing £150bn or so worth of readies for circulation among the hoi polloi to enable us to buy goods and services and thereby kick-start the economy - click on caption for the article in question.

When some gifted members of the International Brotherhood of Forgers and Paperhangers, that I once encountered during my erstwhile official duties a few decades ago, did something similar through the means of private enterprise, artistic skills and an adapted printing press, they definitely created some monetary fluidity - something of a boom for a while in fact. However the subsequent bust - theirs - resulted in the architects of that recovery plan receiving between 10 and 15years porridge for their public spiritedness.

When private entrepreneurs do it, it's called forgery, uttering forged currency and conspiracy to defraud. When governments do it, that's called 'quantitive easing' apparently, even if they run countries that are bankrupt. The crooks of the Hungarian Circle conspiracy of whom I speak, were probably a lot less evil than those involved in the current official global scams. In fact I am led to believe that one or two of them were hired from time to time after their release, to surreptitiously advise certain members of governments on how to 'paperhang' and where to invest their own personal cuts from the proceeds. All pro bono publico, of course. It's a funny old world. I'm off to Ebay now to see whether I can pick up an old printing press. There's some quantitive easing to be done, my parlour needs papering and I would like to ease poverty throughout the world, particularly in my neck of the woods.

What's it all about Alfie?

2009-02-14T16:53:00.003Z

Melanie Phillips has written a piece for Daily Mail on-line concerning the baby born of 15-year-old mother by a 13-year-old father: (click on title for link).

As usual Melanie enters the moral maze with great confidence and an aerial diagram of the layout. This time I’m not necessarily lock-stepping her all the way, as there may be more than one way through it.

Moreover, there is an elephant wandering around in this one, which everyone seems to be ignoring. How are they going to prevent this young 'couple' from continuing their illegal sexual relationship when it has already borne fruit, so to speak? Denying ‘parents’ conjugal rights that might cement a relationship that would benefit the baby in later years could be deleterious - a tricky problem for both familes, the social services and the police, I would have thought. The difficulties are obvious, but the solutions are not easily formulated. Perhaps there may have to be blind eyes turned here to allow evolution to proceed in the least worst of all possibilities. Innocence is something we should do all we can to protect in children, but once lost it cannot be restored or repaired, but it can be replaced by support, education and encouragement towards parental responsibility and the natural affection involved fostered in all possible ways.

Sadly, there are thousands of couplings of individuals whose maturity is probably even less developed than that of these two children, but whose legal right to breed is inviolate merely because of the arbitrary parameter of age alone and they have ‘rights’. Whether the result is any better for society than this sad little story is debatable.

In the counter culture ethos (or rather chaos) that has engulfed us, ostracism, peer group pressures, judgemental attitudes and other social mores that were once natural regulators (along with civil and religious laws) are now infra dig - in some cases illegal. It follows that an increase in feral children, promiscuous and/or perverted sexual behaviour, breeding patterns and all the consequences that issue forth are inevitable. Add to that the all-pervasive and baleful influences of television and its intrusion into childhood, through lack of any real regulation or even parental supervision, and it is perhaps inevitable that things will have to get worse before, or rather if, they are to get better. Humanity is too clever by half and too stupid by a country mile to better its lot on this planet. There’s the paradox! And most of us shrank from stamping our feet harder and resisting the great army of the deluded and depraved culture warriors when they started their long march.

At least in this particular case, the little family involved emerges from the same nation, race, social status; the child is the issue of a heterosexual coupling with no test tubes involved and if they are given the privacy and support they need, it could turn out to be a happy family in 5 – 10 years, who knows? Calm down dear, it’s only nature taking its course; admittedly, on this occasion, a little prematurely, but there is a possibility of a good result, at least. Just give Old Father Time a chance to help out. In the meantime someone has to decide whether this prematurely aged young man is entitled to his regular ration of oats and in due course the young lady too, to balance the more onerous elements of parenthood as it did for most of us, I guess. I’m just glad I don’t have to decide on that issue.

Ahhh. There’s the exit to this maze. I’m outa here before I get trampled to death. By Melanie that is, not the elephant!

The Way We Were...

2009-02-05T13:20:00.003Z

After the huge loss of men on the Somme during World War I, and before the USA entered the war, some women visited the American Ambassador in London to ask him for help in finding their menfolk. Walter Hines Page, the US Ambassador, recorded:

"I suppose a thousand English women have been to see me - as a last hope - to ask me to have enquiries made in Germany about their 'missing' sons or husbands, generally sons. They are of every class and rank, from Marchioness to scrub-woman. Every one tells her story with the same dignity of grief, the same marvellous self-restraint, the same courtesy and deference and sorrowful pride. Not one has whimpered...It's the breed....They never weep; their voices do not falter. Not a tear have I seen yet. They take it as part of the price of greatness and empire. You guess at their grief only by their reticence. They use as few words as possible and then courteously take themselves away. It isn't an accident that these people own a fifth of the world. Utterly unwarlike, they outlast anybody else when war comes...."

(quoted in 'A History of the English-Speaking Peoples Since 1900' by Andrew Roberts)

Stephenson's delayed action rocket to power.

2009-01-28T01:06:00.004Z

So it looks as though despite the tough talk about the 'Muscular Mayor's' shake up at The Yard, Smudger Smiff, our even more muscular Home Secretary, who sadly also hasn't yet lost her job in the great exodus of women from the workplace cited by Yazza, has prevailed and Sir Ian Blair's ex-Deputy, currently holding the fort, has landed the job. A little embarrassing for the Speccy mag., which yesterday publicised a leak of a conversation between Boris and Blair about the Stockwell nut job. It is worth reading through the post and commentary (click on caption). If today's Sky revelation is correct, it makes amusing reading. Not too late to influence events, Boris, if that mayoral muscle really exists. Otherwise business as usual at the Yard. Birds of a feather copper together at that level. I wonder if Roger Graef will do a fly-on-the-wall documentary of his selection board interview. Now that would be interesting.

Dear God, why can't one of them be hers?

2009-01-26T11:11:00.001Z

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown: 'Our struggle for equality has just become more difficult'

"Female job losses are calculated to be happening at twice the rate of men's"

The Independent
Monday, 26 January 2009

We Need More Honorable Men in Manhattan and Washington DC (and London)

2009-01-03T22:56:00.007Z

I hate to write anything positive about the French. I really do. But I have to mention that in this case we find a Frenchman who some may say is a coward... but I say is a hero. Now, yes, I am not at all a fan of suicide. Not for the least part because of my particular religious beliefs. But, to be honest with you, I find something appealing in the act of this particular Frenchman. In the way he went out.

Here is why: assuming he was not a coward (as in he was just afraid to face the music), his act, though again not to be praised, demonstrates he was capable of shame. And embarrassment. And guilt. That is... he appears to have been... human. It also appears that he was not given to pointing the finger at others for his mistakes. That means he felt responsible for his actions.

I like him. And in particular, I like him because he is dead. I think the US/Britain could benefit from this sort of culling of the herd.

God forgive me. But I really think we would benefit.

Instead, the power-centers are populated with shameless creatures that represent the most base Humanity has to offer.

So Farewell then, Samuel Huntington (died 24/12/2008)

2009-01-03T21:14:00.003Z

If you haven’t read ‘The Clash of Civilisations?’ (1993/6) yet, I think you probably should. Huntington's analysis can be queried, and subjected to the death of a thousand academic qualifications, but he is definitely on to something.

Writing well before 9/11, Huntington argues that the old ideological certainties of the Cold War would be replaced by older religio-cultural (aka 'civilisational') divisions. Far from being drawn together by globalisation, the different civilisations would increasingly conflict. Liberal capitalism would not automatically triumph, as his former pupil (and utter charlatan?), Francis Fukuyama, had claimed. Democracy is a result of certain specific cultural circumstances; and it cannot easily be transplanted.

In 2004, he made the obvious point that American culture is the product of Anglo-Saxon Protestant culture, and he went on to claim that the recent huge influx of Latinos would unmoor the USA from its cultural roots.

Now, the US is not my country, but his point resonates with me. Dan will say that the Latinos are hard-working, and Enoch will applaud their overwhelming Catholicism, but I cannot help seeing such a huge migration as a threat to the West as a whole and to the country that leads us.

A high-breeding racially and linguistically distinct people with a partly non-western cultural heritage are colonising the USA. Latinos are not merely New World Spaniards, but Spanish-speaking people of mixed race who are largely of non-western descent. Inevitably, their arrival in the USA will change the linguistic basis of the US; and their attachment to democracy and classical liberalism will not be so strong. And ultimately those states in which they come to be a majority may wish to secede from the union…

Meanwhile, things are worse over here...but that is another story and another post...

Next Crisis, Please

2008-12-31T19:17:00.006Z

Us 'n' Them

2008-12-27T14:33:00.009Z

Click on the caption to view and listen to someone explaining the rules of the Great Game. Geopolitically things have moved on a bit since it was recorded. But has the powerful, relentless beat of the message changed in its rhythm or force? Personally, I think not. Unfortunately it is still being transmitted below the radar of the majority of the Western democratic electorate and consistently jammed anyway by the lamestream* media. Why is this? Are we all communistic at heart and have a secret desire for Marxian fulfilment? The facade of the subterfuge is wafer thin, transparent and prone to eruption, yet most refuse to see or hear what is happening and certainly cannot forsee the consequences of ceding to it. Hope! Change! Obamesmerised! Some would say its no longer a subterfuge; it is now overt imposition of the counter-cultural hegemony. Perhaps Gorbachev was a great deal more cunning than he was given credit for. Who would have forecast the collapse of capitalism within two decades in 1989?

Is it too late to reverse the rout? Probably. But try we must. Only a matter of time before the blogs are suppressed.

*ack. Darleen Click - wordsmith extraordinaire

A Christmas Wish

2008-12-24T20:24:00.004Z

To the last of the few of the Daily Ablution and anyone else who may drop by, may you be surrounded by those that love you at Christmas and may the Year 2009 be a much better one than I expect it to be. It's been a a strange start to the New Millennium; but keep buggering on.

Life has been the better for knowing y'all and long may that prevail. The Missus 'n' me will raise a glass of Bloody Scotch over the Christmas pud and propose a toast to you and yours. Cheers!

And just in case our erstwhile host Scott Burgess Esq. is still extant in this troubled Universe, we hope that your post-Ablution adventures have been worthwhile, Scott. If so we would be pleased to know that you have survived the fatwa. I'd activate the Anti-Terrorism squad at NSY to send out a search party if they weren't so busy running their Taxi firms and trying to sabotage the Tory Party for their old mate Smudger Smiff.

So, the Pope's a Catholic...

2008-12-23T13:31:00.003Z

It was almost enough to make me want to convert. And then His Holiness has to ruin it by regurgitating eco-propaganda about the rain forests.

Untitled

2008-12-16T14:11:00.001Z

Brighton Rock remake 2008

2008-12-16T03:24:00.003Z

And if you think I was being alarmist in my last post ....

I repeat, thank God for my indestructible soh.
And nobody tickles it quite like Our Rich.

The End Game?

2008-12-16T01:44:00.004Z

Melanie Phillips draws attention to a Times article:

http://www.spectator.co.uk/melaniephillips/3088576/lunacy-at-the-yard.thtml#comments

>"A man wanted by Interpol for his links to an alleged terrorist organisation has been advising Scotland Yard on countering Muslim extremism, a Times investigation has discovered. Mohamed Ali Harrath has been the subject of the Interpol red notice since 1992 because of his alleged activities in Tunisia, where he co-founded the Tunisian Islamic Front (FIT).A man wanted by Interpol for his links to an alleged terrorist organisation has been advising Scotland Yard on countering Muslim extremism, a Times investigation has discovered. Mohamed Ali Harrath has been the subject of the Interpol red notice since 1992 because of his alleged activities in Tunisia, where he co-founded the Tunisian Islamic Front (FIT)."<

Read it all. I repeat hereupon the comment I contributed after many had their say and after some sullen contemplation; I doubt it will get past the moderator:

My silence hitherto has been one of deep mourning and unbearable sadness for an institution to which I gave the best years of my life.

Logdon
As I have said here before, you are indeed logged on. Great post.
This is the end game we are on, isn't it?
And watching the notional head of the Western World being pelted with smelly sandals by a 'citizen' of a country that he has liberated by way of much spilled blood and gold of his own countrymen and their allies didn't assauge my grief tonight, nor my deep loathing for the ingrate who made this 'gesture', nor the poxy government that failed to take necessary security precautions. Didn't think I would ever say this, but my uppermost thought at this moment in time, is "Pull out all the allied troops and nuke the shit heap!"
It will pass, of course, but I'll bet I'm not alone in that reaction. And before it does pass, let me offer another couple of thoughts: for afters - first Afghanistan, then Iran. Deep down, I am a pacifist at heart. God knows what the bellicose among us are thinking.

Then there is the question of the US electorate and their latest bizarre collective decision ...
How long Oh Lord and when?

And just when I managed to divert my thoughts back to a positive strand of Universal energy, a news item on breaking news informs me that the Hospital which is managing my chemo-therapy has been closed down because of Winter Vomiting Virus!

I thank God for my sense of humour.

Coldest start to UK winter since 1976...

2008-12-12T19:44:00.001Z

Ahh...so that's why the eco-fascists prefer to talk of 'climate change' (as though climate was static!) rather than 'global warming'...

Gordo saves the world - NOT!

2008-12-11T16:13:00.005Z

Champion a***-hole, UK PM Gordon Brown believes he has saved the world. Sorry, he means the UK banks..though his Freudian slip reveals his arrogance. Meanwhile, he attempts a massive national reflation (which will have minimal effects in a globalised economy - like the French army, Gordo is always fighting the last war!) - which will take a generation to pay off. Hyper-inflation could be the consequence....

Unless I'm very much mistaken, every UK Labour government (bar one?) has ended in a sterling crisis and massive indebt-ness. When will we ever learn...?

US Government Concept Car

2008-12-10T19:16:00.003Z

Your Hard Earned Money

2008-12-10T18:05:00.002Z

Islamic Child Abuse: a contradiction in terms?

2008-12-10T10:19:00.002Z

So two PC shibboleths collide - multiculturalism and the 'rights' of children. But what's really worrying is that there are 1600 Madrassahs in the UK attended by 200,000 children on weekday evenings where they are receiving indoctrination in Islamic ideology. Inshallah.

Islam - sorry, Christmas - is "evil"

2008-12-10T09:08:00.004Z

Anjem Choudary, who is chairman of the Society of Muslim Lawyers, says in a sermon posted on an Islamic website:

"In the world today many Muslims, especially those residing in western countries, are exposed to the evil celebration Christmas....How can a Muslim possibly approve or participate in such a practice that bases itself on the notion Allah has an offspring? The very concept of Christmas contradicts and conflicts with the foundation of Islam. Every Muslim has a responsibility to protect his family from the misguidance of Christmas, because its observance will lead to hellfire. Protect your Paradise from being taken away – protect yourself and your family from Christmas."

Choudary is Principal Lecturer at the London School of Shari'ah and a follower of the Islamist militant leader Omar Bakri Mohammed.

Merry Christmas, Anjem, here's your deportation order.

Plane Stupid

2008-12-08T21:13:00.003Z

A non-violent direct action group, Plane Stupid, invaded the runway at London Stansted today and delayed the departure of over 50 flights. They claimed that their action was about preventing and publicising climate change. Yet, strangely, their website plays down the climate change angle, listing it as 8th out of 10 reasons to "ground the plane". The first reason it gives for abandoning aviation is not green politics but the politics of envy:

" 'Cheap' flights are for the priviliged (sic)
It’s the rich who are really benefiting from the artificially low prices of air travel.
The average income of people using Stansted Airport is £47,000 per year – and it’s supposed to be a budget airport!"

Unsurprising, I suppose, when their logo is the leftists' clenched fist crushing an airliner. Evidently, they are against capitalism as much as they are for the environment.

PS "Spokesperson" for Plane Stupid, Lily Kember, was on national radio this morning. Is she by any chance related to Norman 'unwillingly rescued by the SAS in Iraq' Kember?

The Spectator aka The Chamelion

2008-12-08T13:10:00.004Z

The Spectator, through Fraser Nelson offers yet another sycophantic essay on behalf of NuLab minister James Purnell:

http://www.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/3071651/tackling-the-giant-evil-of-idleness.thtml

Purnell and all NuLab colleagues have been no small part of the biggest pyramid scam that has ever been perpetrated on the peoples of all Western countries; they and many other Western Governments have urged and facilitated people to get into debt beyond their means in order to create a temporary false prosperity. The City and Wall Street banking boys, in collusion with the politicos, have covered the 'risk' by bent insurance schemes and scams and mendacious smoke and mirrors economics, while pocketing short term profits and bonuses derived from their iffy enterprises. It all had to come a tumble some day and now it has. All that surprises we cynics who have been auguring the collapse, is the length of time it took.

Now we see, daily, the perpetrators and political patsies whining, lying and contradicting themselves and each other daily in an effort to shift blame - and generate other scams, another part of the depravity of it all. The Welfare culture has been fed by the same ethos to garner the votes of the proles. Moreover the education system, the media, the arts and almost every other strand of our culture has been tweaked and twisted to obfuscate what has been going on and to brainwash 'la canaille' into accepting it.

Unlike Fraser Nelson, I wish Purnell no luck at all. He along with the rest of government must be ousted from power – soonest! It is despicable that the journalists from the Spectator are continuously bumming this little twerp's load. He is a member of the Nulab scam, as hacks from a conservative magazine they should stop praising him and castigate him and all his co-conspirators with every political phrase they can muster. I realise that he has made close friends with a few of their number, but we are moving ever closer to a General Election. Unless they start to root for the only viable opposition party - the Conservative Party (though we have many reservations about them too) - we shall suffer yet another term of bumbling incompetence, lying, statism, theft of our national product and an exponential increase in the police state; plus a further burden of indebtedness upon our children and their children, ad infinitum. Bugger their promises, schemes and disgusting and unrealistic ideology. How can these hacks be so gullible? Force spongers into work? What work? Most of the jobs they could do have already been filled by immigrants of better education and certainly better attitudes and energy prepared to work for less money – more vote catching and culture bending through piss-poor immigration policy! And unemployment is set to rise to unprecedented levels now anyway, as the economy collapses. I can just imagine what the remainder of the bosses of any enterprising businesses that are left would do if confronted with the unkempt idle scum of he sink estates applying for work under duress from a government that created them. We need a new Government - not the same old shit. Why doesn’t Nelson write for the New Statesman if he wants to further Nulab’s (or NuOldLab's) ‘initiatives’? Actually, it seems that the New Statesman takes the Government to task more ably than the Speccie does these days.

And of course when I fired off a similar ‘plaint (or rant if you like) to the Speccie, it did not get past the censor – sorry – I should say 'moderator' which is what they whimsically call their bouncer/s.

Crisis piles pressure on Mugabe

2008-12-06T13:59:00.004Z

Well, haemorrhoids are preferable to cholera, no doubt. I suggest the age old remedy: sit him on a cane-bottomed chair and sever anything that hangs beneath; then apply a cold compress. Medecines sans Frontieres to note.

Erm... an Inconvenient What?

2008-12-05T22:07:00.004Z

Happy Quonset 2008 to All!

2008-12-04T17:13:00.001Z

Gravy Train

2008-12-02T14:20:00.000Z

Odd - Newspaper Fails to Cite Party Affiliation

2008-12-01T19:13:00.002Z

Change... Hope...

A Feast Day at The Temple of Mammon

2008-11-30T14:18:00.001Z

Advice for Obama

2008-11-29T21:47:00.004Z

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery. "

Highly recommended:

Churchill: a Study in Greatness by Geoffrey Best

which, incidentally, quotes Eisenhower:

"[Churchill] came nearer to fulfilling the requirements of greatness in any individual I have met in my lifetime. I have known finer and greater characters, wiser philosophers, more understanding personalities, but no greater man."

French men need largest condoms in Europe

2008-11-29T09:58:00.000Z

So the French are pricks - and liars?

If this is Peace... Who Needs War?

2008-11-28T17:52:00.004Z

It's Not Over Til the ... erm...

2008-11-28T02:02:00.002Z

Shocking Development!

2008-11-26T21:50:00.002Z

MUMBAI, India (AP) - A media report says a little-known group, the Deccan Mujahideen, has claimed responsibility for the Mumbai terrorist attacks.

Wow! Muslim Extremists responsible for this kind of carnage?

Who'da thunk it possible.

Fear not! Here comes Sen Clinton with free vanilla lattes!

THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

2008-11-26T15:52:00.001Z

Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2: A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.' Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.' Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4 An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5 A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.....

Lesson 6 A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story: (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

All My Children

2008-11-26T12:00:00.002Z

Paying Everyone's Fair Share

2008-11-25T12:57:00.004Z

"To further rub salt into the wound these higher earners will also pay an additional 1pc in National Insurance costs, giving an effective taxation rate of 61pc - a rate not seen since the late 1980s."

Sexual Harassment Training

2008-11-23T16:16:00.001Z

You mean I've been doing it wrong all this time?

Worst Superhero Ever

2008-11-23T14:57:00.003Z

Congolese: "Help us, Blue Helmet Man!"
Blue Helmet Man: "I would, but for the hostilities!"

Photo courtesy Enoch Root.

The Slaughter of the Narwhals

2008-11-23T14:37:00.003Z

Apparently, they believed Al Gore.

Pictured: Sarah Palin pardons cetacean as narwhals slaughtered for food.

Prediction from Resident MBA - DJIA to Hit 5500

2008-11-23T14:15:00.003Z

You were wondering where the bottom was... I am here to tell you I anticipate the Dow will hit 5500 before we find the ... erm....

Dammit People... It Was Just a Slogan!

2008-11-23T14:09:00.003Z

Rashid Rauf

2008-11-22T22:37:00.000Z

Portrait of a dead guy for whom I feel next to no compunction.

In Case (Or Not) of IED

2008-11-22T16:01:00.002Z

Via Frank, from Jonathan:

AMENDMENT#93489321 (4TH EDITION) TO UK FORCES (IRAQ) SOPs:
ACTIONS ON: IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVE DEVICE(IED)

1.Household Cavalry.
Regard IED with haughty disdain and rustle Daily Telegraph angrily.
Maintain presence of IED in Knightsbridge is "absolutely
preposterous". Return to regimental main effort of defending Central
London from the roundheads.

2. Cavalry.
Declare IED as best thing since tinned champagne, hold impromptu Pimms
party to celebrate. Declare subsequent IED detonation as even more
"wizard prank", extend Pimms party and incorporate mandatory drinking
of champagne from remains of IED as regimental custom for next 300
years.

3.Footguards.
Reduce words-of-command and halting in quick time to a minimum. Deploy
No.1 fatigue party in close-order to polish IED to acceptable
standard, followed by No.2 fatigue party to paint IED blue-red-blue
and swab immediate area. IED detonated by massed bands. Deploy 2 x
Battalions- worth of fatigue parties to swab resulting mess.

4.Armoured Infantry.
Fail to see IED. Crush IED. On realising error, distract attention by
initiating faked contact against nearest dwelling using all available
weapon systems. Hide remains of IED in sidebin.

5.Light-Role Infantry.
Find IED. Fail to find solution to IED due to environmental
differences to Salisbury Plain. Attempt cordon operation and set a new
world record for miles of mine tape used. Withdraw to COB under cover
of mine tape.

6.Parachute Regt.
Decide IED is a "hat". Deploy most junior paratrooper to "crack the
hat's skull". Call the junior paratrooper a "hat" when he gets blown
up by IED. Remind all others that they are "hats" because they weren't
there.

7.Royal Marines.
Declare that IED is "hoofing". Get junior men naked with IED as an
initiation. Turn IED into an improvised free-weight for bench
pressing. Indent for extra, extra supplementary rations from "the
galley". Hoofing.

8.SAS.
Deploy 200km behind IED using HALO-Landrover-Submarine insertion. Tab
into area of IED but capture a rock instead. Extract rock to US base.
Have huge backslapping party with US. Write a book per team member,
all with hugely differing accounts of the Op.

9.SBS.
Get into black rubber suits. Steal IED as above. Construct black
rubber suit for IED. Move to a special swimming pool and do bad, bad
things with black-rubber-coated-IED. Turn on wave machine and let
things get properly nasty. Be very grateful for UKSF non-disclosure
policy.

10.SRR.
Place OOB box around area. Proceed to watch IED for ten days to make
association to Bravos. Swab IED for copper sample and divert national
assets to remote copper mine in Namibia. Leave theatre on personal
crusade against worldwide copper production forgetting all about IED.

11.Royal Artillery.
Level entire area ten square kilometres around IED. IED still
functional. Repeatedly remind everyone that artillery neutralizes, it
doesn't destroy. Create promotional video of IED neutralization with
images of Apache and accompanying Tina Turner soundtrack.

12. Medical Corps.
Send out a fit hottie to chat-up IED. Fit hottie lightly dabs a damp
cloth over the IED to keep it cool and offers reassuring words. Ends
up sleeping with IED before announcing undying love and marrying it.
IED later detonates when it catches her in bed with an Irish
Guardsman.

13. Chaplain Corp.
Approach the IED preaching about The Lord, oblivious to having entered
a come-on. Rounds from nearby insurgents pass over and around the
Padre without harming him. IED attempts to detonate and fails as some
mysterious force prevents it from engaging. IED is later found giving
sermons to scared soldiers new into theatre.

14.Royal Engineers.
Destroy IED using charge with 10-times explosive content of IED. Build
SQN bar in crater. Use second massive charge to blow second crater in
which to build & celebrate opening of SQN bar/gym complex with BBQs
every night for the rest of tour. IED appears on next SQN t-shirt.

15.Royal Signals.
IED self destructs to avoid WESTLANDS BOWMANISATION.

16. BFBS Radio DJ's.
Send shout-out on BFBS Radio 1 to IED wishing it good luck and playing
'I Will Survive'. IED detonates out of shame and embarrassment.

17. Royal Military Police.
Issue IED with penalty fine of £1000 for loitering and not having
FFD/Tourniquet/Morphine. IED detonates in anger and annoyance at the
monkeys wasting its time. Surviving RMPs issue IED with penalty charge
for littering.

18.Army Air Corps.
Identify ideal opportunity to prove AAC has an offensive role and is
not just a taxi service. Launch TOW missile at IED. Missile fails due
to armaments contract being given to cheapest bidder. Accept that was
the AAC's only missile and disband.

19.Intelligence Corps.
Deny existence of IED to unit reporting IED, as they are not
sufficiently cleared. Issue BG's with a list of int-based questions to
ask IED. Study Q&A analysis and find two main results:
A-Suggest IED may detonate having studied trend analysis of previous IEDs
B-Claim it's part of a come-on involving 400 insurgents and Iranian
heavy-armour, as that's what the guy who cleans the toilets told them.

20.Div/Bde Headquarters.
Issue IED with a notification of controlled explosion. IED
ignores/deletes message, as does the rest of theatre.

21. RLC.
Get pictures taken whilst posing next to IED with another Unit's GPMG.
IED detonates due to someone making a video call on their mobile
phone.

22. RAF.
Send the RFS out to investigate IED; fail to notice they never come
back. RFS patrol later found upside down in a WMKII in a ditch, in
Syria. Patrol Commander admits to being a 'bit unsure about his
position', is informed his position is now 'Private'

23.Navy.
Proclaim IED as a figment of the Army's imagination. Go on a
Mediterranean cruise for 3 months. Come back to Middle East waters.
Proclaim IED as a figment of the Army's imagination. (repeat
indefinitely). Occasionally get taken hostage to relieve the monotony.

24. American Army. Send out a patrol in a Hummer with Rhino deployed,
then send out a Spectre gunship to destroy the nearest local village
in retribution for when it all goes horribly, horribly wrong.

25. Australian Army.
Threaten to withdraw entire country's assets from theatre as they
heard a rumour there was an IED identified 50 miles south of their
position. Demand hand-holding by other already over-stretched British
units and then complain when we make them actively look for more
IEDs'.

26. Romanian Army.
Confuse IED with their gibberish native tongue. Sign the IED onto
their stores and attempt to make it part of their armaments supply due
to under funding by a government that's abandoned them.

27 Danish Army.
Arrive in theatre and promptly invite IED to their camp to join in
their BBQ and Drinks sessions held every night. Eventually starve to
death as they'd forgot how to open their camp gates on account of
having never left. IED detonates to attract attention and help.

28. Iraq Army.
Tip up five days after IED reported. Cordon area, remove IED. Corrupt
elements of IA then move IED five hundred yards further along road and
bury. Reassure MND(SE) that area is now clear.

29. Iraq Civilian.
Dig up IED, take to nearest MND(SE) post and attempt to sell IED. Upon
refusal, attempts to sell IED to MJAM. MJAM take IED and bury it at
target area. Civilian digs up IED, takes to nearest MND(SE) post and
attempts to sell IED. And so on.

30. UK Aid Worker.
Show complete disregard for IED, fail to adhere to Foreign Office
warnings on IEDs, pay no attention to MND(SE) briefs on IEDs and
wonder what went wrong when their convoy gets destroyed by IED.

31. Security Contractor.
Use innocent civilian children to test road ahead of patrol for IEDs.
When child finds IED, claim child is insurgent attempting a come-on
and shoot child. And his family. And neighbours.

32. Private Contractor.
Find themselves lured to Iraq by greed. Make more money in a week than
some soldiers do in a month. Laugh at poorly paid soldiers being blown
up by IEDs'. Expect MND(SE) to help when they get blown up by IED.
Wonder why we don't respond.

Gobble Gobble Gabble Rabble

2008-11-22T15:47:00.002Z

Tim Blair rounds up the media shock and claw-wringing over Sarah Palin being interviewed at a turkey farm, where, incongruously and unbelievably, the wholesale slaughter of turkeys is being committed in anticipation of Thanksgiving by turkey farmers.

Warning: Graphic Stupidity

Personally, I don't eat anything I wouldn't be willing to watch killed, with the exception, of course, of babies.

Crisis? What Crisis?

2008-11-22T15:40:00.002Z

Frank sends in this Stratfor analysis of the economic freeze-up and fallout. The sum: I'll begin thinking it's a crisis when the politicians begin acting as though it's a crisis.

Obama - First Kenyan-Born Presidential Elect of the United States

2008-11-21T19:51:00.002Z

Wow! Talk a bout a trail-blazer!

First, he's the first Black President Elect in our Nation's History.

Now, he's the first foreign-born!

I know there is something in the Constitution about this sort of thing... but those are just details.

Yes He Can!

Thriller in Maniler

2008-11-21T19:39:00.002Z

First Cassius Clay... now Michael J?

So it ain't so, Mo!

Obama's German Financiers

2008-11-21T18:41:00.001Z

Largely thanks to the [3-books for German publishing giant]Bertelsmann deal, Obama went from earning just over $85,000 in 2004 (see statement 3 in Barack and Michelle Obamas’ joint 2004 tax return here) to well over $1 million in 2005. His senate salary of $154,000 was dwarfed in that year by a reported $874,000 in income from Random House plus another $336,000 from literary agent Dystel & Goderich. (See statements 5 and 10 in the Obamas’ 2005 return here.) The Obamas’ most recent 2007 return lists a staggering $3,279,000 in income from Random House plus another nearly $816,000 from literary agent Dystel & Goderich, adding up to over $4 million in book-related revenues in all. (As so happens, Jane Dystel is Obama’s former literary agent, whom he is reported to have unceremoniously dumped before signing the Random House deal. That Obama should be receiving such large sums from Dystel & Goderich suggests some sort of complicated settlement between the three parties and this suggests in turn that the sums could well represent additional indirect payments to Obama from Random House. In any case, it is unusual for an agent to be paying a client rather than vice versa.) All told, from 2005 to 2007, Obama received some $4,556,636 in income from the Random House division of Bertelsmann and another $1,299,167 from Dystel & Goderich, adding up to nearly $6 million — presumably all of it related in one way or another to the Bertelsmann/Random House deal.

In the interest of transparency, Obama should surely now release the full details of his contractual relationship with the Bertelsmann Corporation. After all, if one is to judge by his recent tax returns, even as president, he will be paid far more by Bertelsmann than by the American taxpayers. For him to be taking advice from the Bertelsmann Foundation suggests conflict of interest on a magnitude that has perhaps never before been seen in the history of the American presidency. Although legally distinct, the foundation and the corporation are, in effect, just functionally distinct parts of a single entity. The Bertelsmann Foundation is in fact the majority shareholder in the corporation, presently holding roughly three-quarters of the company shares, to which, however, there correspond no voting rights. All the remaining shares are held by the Mohn family: family patriarch Reinhard, his wife Liz, and their children. The Mohns in turn control the foundation (to which Reinhard Mohn assigned a large part of the company capital in 1993), such that foundation and corporation are perfectly intertwined and both are, in effect, emanations of the Mohn family’s power.

Ask and You Shall Receive

2008-11-21T18:13:00.001Z

Iowahawk reviews the Congressional Motors new offering, the Pelosi.

Argentina: Coming to the US!

2008-11-21T13:54:00.002Z

Docile, more cosmopolitan US prepares to absorb the wisdom of other countries' policies:

(Buenos Aires, Argentina) The government of Argentina, led by President Cristina Fernandez, has nationalized the country's private pension plans, known as AFJPs. Despite assertions otherwise, the move is no more than an asset grab to give the government funds to pay the bills of wild-spending politicians.

The Senate approved the bill by 46 votes to 18 with one abstention. Under the new regime, the AFJPs’ $26bn in assets and annual contributions of up to $5bn will pass to the state social security administrator, Anses, which will be responsible for all retirees under the state’s pay-as-yo-go system (sic).

Miguel Pichetto, government whip in the Senate, called it “a change of historic importance”. But the opposition Radical Party’s Ernesto Sanz said: “We have no doubt that here the right to private property is being violated. Not just for us but for society and the world, this is a clear confiscation.”

If the Democrats follow through on their announced intentions, expect the same type of confiscation to occur in the U.S. Remember, a milestone on the road to serfdom is the eradication of private property.

Yes... We... Might... Be Able To... Maybe... But Don't Count on It

2008-11-21T13:03:00.002Z

WARNING: When expectations are out of whack, unhappy clients are often the result.

Drudge Crosses the Line

2008-11-19T19:04:00.002Z

I mean really... grabbed this screenshot for posterity

John "Mitch" Mitchell Dead at 61

2008-11-17T16:53:00.003Z

I remember being a young, young drummer... I am going to have to say I was in 4th grade when I first "discovered" Jimi Hendrix and of course Mitch Mitchell. All I can remember was how unique this drummer was. I had a small tape recorder and a shitty recording of some of Hendrix's stuff. I would play it over and over again, to the annoyance of my dad... who warned me that drummers all died young.

I didn't care. I am now 39 and still Mitchell remains in the top 5 rock drummers in my mind. Fucking great drummer.

Anyway... here is to Mitch Mitchell who had as much to do with Jimi Hendrix's unique success as Dave Grohl had in launching Nirvana's Cobain.

May his soul fuse with the eternal rhythms of the Cosmos. From light to light and sound to sound.

Electric Laneyland - memories of a Collins childhood - Delaney R Collins, 11

2008-11-15T14:39:00.001Z

The most memorable baby story my mom can think of was a mean one. Ok so it is the only one I have so here it goes. One day well we lived in Waukesha, at the time it was only Kc, me, momma, and dada, my mom left me in my boopy on the couch with my sister Kc. I was sitting there minding my own business, you know what 3 week old babies do, well momma was on the floor folding laundry. When all of a sudden Kc started to lean over closer to my head, still to this day my mom swears she thought that Kc was giving me a kiss, but I doubt it Kc is evil she would never give someone a kiss and my mom knew it! ok well maybe my mom knowing it was a lie but still. So on with my story because I got interrupted by myself I have to finish it from where I left off, so, anyway my sister started leaning over, and my mom “thinking” it was a kiss let her, but then –chomp- she bit me on my head!!!!! I started to cry. I mean really who wouldn’t? Well, I don’t know what happens next because I couldn’t hear through all my crying, and neither does my mom, she claims she forgot! Likely story MOTHER!!!!! Just kidding but yeah just thinking about it gives me pain in my head! So I’m going to stop. Yeah so that was the most memorable time.

Quite a Performance: an Artistic Defence

2008-11-14T19:36:00.001Z

Stone, who gained notoriety in 1988 when he killed three mourners at an IRA funeral in West Belfast, claimed his actions at Stormont were all part of an elaborate performance art display.
Delivering his judgment in the non-jury trial, Mr Justice Deeney rejected this claim as being "wholly undeserved of belief"....

The former UDA member, who attained notoriety in 1988 after killing three mourners when he launched a gun and grenade attack on an IRA funeral at Milltown cemetery in west Belfast, said his appearance at Stormont was a piece of theatre intended to expose the hypocrisy of the politicians. ...

The judge said defence evidence that Stone had been taking part in some sort of a "comic parody" was "hopelessly unconvincing" and "self-contradictory".
"I am satisfied that Mr Stone went to Stormont to try and murder the two Sinn Fein leaders on November 24, 2006," he said. ...

The father of nine was also convicted on seven other counts, including possession of nail bombs, three knives, a garrotte and an axe - Stone claimed they were all props....

The letters he wrote to local journalists outlining his intention to kill the senior republicans were also part of the "script", his defence team argued. ..

While his lawyers called on art experts to support this theory, Crown barristers dismissed it as a ludicrous attempt to explain away a calculated murder bid.

Wrongful Conduct Passes Final Exam

2008-11-13T12:18:00.001Z

Fired? Really? Part 2

2008-11-13T01:20:00.002Z

July 16, 2007

Letter of Recommendation
[Enoch_Root]

I am pleased to provide this recommendation for [Enoch_Root]. In my role as Director of Human Resources for REDACTED, my duties include the selection and management of our talent. Although [Enoch_Root]’s tenure spanned the life of a “special project” during 2007, [Enoch_Root], with his extensive digital marketing knowledge, was considered an instrumental hire.

When [Enoch_Root] first joined the agency, he immediately set to work as the team leader on the project. Through his strong project management skills and with his sound interactive marketing background, he built a solid plan and uncovered insightful information that helped us understand this challenging project.

[Enoch_Root] was valued for his extensive knowledge of the interactive discipline and the emerging technology. Equally so, his fine personality played out in many ways, from creating a sense of team camaraderie, to developing a base of preferred vendors.

I am certain [Enoch_Root] will contribute to your organization as well, because it is in his character to do so. If I can be of further assistance, please don’t hesitate to reach me directly at 414-270-****.

Sincerely,

REDACTED
Senior Vice President
REDACTED

Fired? Really? Part 1

2008-11-13T01:16:00.004Z

August 1, 2007

To Whom It May Concern:

It’s my great pleasure to recommend [Enoch_Root]. We worked very closely together on a project that was of high personal interest to me. I had an idea for an on-line media solution that would bring advertisers and web publishers together at a very low cost. I hired [Enoch_Root] to be my project manager. Fortunately for me, [Enoch_Root] delivered an intelligent and efficient assessment of the concept that eventually led to a decision not to pursue its execution.

[Enoch_Root] approached this project by quickly grasping the concept and enthusiastically designing a model of how it would work. His ability to understand a specific business solution and apply it to the technical requirements of an on-line channel is first rate. In other words, he can think strategically about business problems and has the technical expertise to apply solutions in digital media.

In a broader perspective, he also helped me keep the concept pure in purpose and differentiated from other web-based alternatives.

He is enthusiastic and engaged. Without the need for layers of support, he recruited expert feedback to make the model workable. He also helped test the concept against prospective users. And, finally, he helped provide the information that allowed us to decide not to go forward with the project even though it meant that he would no longer have a project to manage.

At our company, we work with new products frequently and talent like [Enoch_Root]’s is rare. He has the ability to make things work and the objectivity to provide good assessments about risks and rewards.

Please call me for further insights: 414.272.****.

Sincerely,

REDACTED
President
REDACTED

An Open Letter to Fox, O'Neill & Shannon

2008-11-12T22:40:00.013Z

"As you know, you were fired by REDACTED on July 27, 2007."

"...your libelous commentary were posted out of spite for your former employer."

As for count 1, I was unaware I was fired. I think the term is "let go" - or, rather, a mutually agreed to "parting of ways".

Shall I post the letters of recommendation I received from one of the partners at REDACTED? Or, a similarly glowing letter of recommendation from a certain VP of HR of the same firm?

As for count 2, you may spin it as you wish. You are paid to do so.

DEMAND: "Demand is hereby made upon you to immediately cease and desist from the improper disparagement of REDACTED"

Fine. I promise henceforth not to improperly disparage.

DEMAND:"...immediately delete from your blog... postings..."

Currently deleted.

DEMAND: "...deliver to REDACTED ... a disc containing all ... materials ..."

Fine. Although you didn't specify what kind of disc. I sense a loophole!

DEMAND:
"...immediately place a public notification on your blog that you had no right to publish REDACTED's private and proprietary material, including the November 3 email posting and the November 10 report posting, and that such material should not be used or disclosed by any member of the public..."

PUBLIC NOTIFICATION TO READERS OF THIS BLOG

Dear Reader - I, Enoch_Root, have been instructed to write this public notification by Francis J Hughes, attorney at law. I have further been instructed to post that "...you had no right to publish REDACTED's private and proprietary material including the November 3 email posting and the November 10 report posting..." Please further note that Mr. Hughes has also instructed me to include the following: "such material should not be used or disclosed by any member of the public..."

DEMAND: "Apologize on your blog for your wrongful conduct"

OPEN APOLOGY FROM ENOCH TO READERS OF THIS BLOG

Dear Reader - I, Enoch_Root, hereby apologize for wrongful conduct. He has not been himself of late. And I am afraid the change of seasons has impacted his behavior. I have matriculated him into conduct-adjustment classes at the esteemed International School of Rightful Conduct, wherein he shall be beaten within an inch of his life until such a time as he is able to behave rightfully.

Dear Attorneys at Law - Statements in your letter are defamatory and disparage Mr. Root's business reputation and cause substantial injury. Particularly the part about being fired. If this is the libelous rumor-mongering being floated about in such a small professional community... Could you imagine the amount of injury one could suffer due to salacious and inaccurate rumors whose origin is found to be among executives of such an esteemed and influential firm?

I anticipate your apology.

No We Can't - No Se Puede

2008-11-12T14:46:00.007Z

Again, I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so.

1) US Downgrade Looming - doom
2) Credit Card Defaults on the rise - gloom

Prepare yourself - buy a gun - buy a shitload of canned food.

Don't tell me the ObaMessiah can resolve this. Socialism will only make it worse. No "rescue" package can rescue us.

The CC defaults will make the sub-prime lending "crisis" seem like a cake-walk.

Up Next - the brain drain (already under way)

Obama-mania ( cont'd)

2008-11-11T10:29:00.002Z

Kwame Boyce-Deacon, 14, is a big fan of Obama...

"Obama is the first black President of America and I'm the first black model of Obama in Leicester...The haircut is amazing. .. I've become a bit of a celebrity."

A celebrity or a victim are the things to be - preferably both. By the way, how much crack do you have to sell to pay for a novelty haircut?

The Obamamessiah

2008-11-10T17:25:00.001Z

Matthew Parris got this right:

Here we have a handsome, dashing and intelligent man, a man with generous instincts and a silver tongue; but a man with no distinctive plan for government that he has seen fit to share with us; a daring opportunist; somebody we may one day judge as a sort of Tony Blair with brains.

Translation Courtesy of Resident MBA

2008-11-06T14:12:00.007Z

GM will announce ‘important changes’ on Friday
Robert Snell / The Detroit News

DETROIT — General Motors Corp. is expected to announce ~~"important changes"~~ [lay-offs, plant closings, retail dealership closings] to its automotive operations ~~Friday~~ [just in time for the weekend] when the automaker ~~releases~~ [divulges] third-quarter financial ~~results~~ [losses], according to an ~~internal~~ [confidential] e-mail obtained [nefariously] by The Detroit News.

According to the e-mail sent to company executives Monday [and later leaked by one or more of them pissed off that they will likely lose their cushy jobs], CEO Rick Wagoner and President and Chief Operating Officer Fritz Henderson will announce ~~changes~~ [pink slips] to [current, soon to be former,] employees at 11 a.m. Friday that address challenges "brought on by [being ill-prepared and not foreseeing or reacting to]the volatile global economic situation."

"Clearly given the challenges the industry is facing, we’re probably going to have to ~~make additional adjustments~~ [fire a bunch of our employees, close some plants, shut down a bunch of dealerships, and reduce pension and other completely over-the-top benefits no one has but teachers, government workers, UAW members, and overpaid knuckleheads like me]," GM ~~spokesman~~ [spinmeister] Tom Wilkinson [not real name] said today. "~~It’s a very challenging time right now~~ This fucking sucks. For years I didn't have to do any heavy-lifting. And now I have to be a peg-boy for these self-aggrandizing ass-monkeys]."

It is not spelled out in the e-mail what specific changes might be announced. But late last month, Wagoner and Henderson wrote in another letter to executives that the automaker will have to cut more white-collar jobs later this year and early next year, including ~~involuntary layoffs~~ [serving thousands of pink slips], suspend the company match in employee 401(k) retirement accounts [today's version of glory day pensions when unions and executives alike bankrupted the company 3 decades in advance, leaving nothing but table scraps and obligations for future generations of blue collar workers] and make other benefit cuts.

GM’s sales in the United States are down 20.3 percent this year and the automaker has lost approximately $70 billion since 2004. [That's what happens when you produce a sub-standard product year after year and start making more money from financing bad loans than focusing on the quality of your core products].

GM and other automakers are coping with the lowest U.S. sales market in 17 years. [They can't give them away].

On Monday, GM reported its October sales slumped 45.1 percent to 168,719 vehicles, the steepest slide among Detroit’s Big Three automakers.

The worsening auto market has led GM to enter negotiations to acquire rival Chrysler LLC [like joining Austria and Hungary together] from majority owner Cerberus Capital Management LP. One deal on the table is for GM to sell a majority of its 49 percent interest in GMAC Financial Services [the only thing worth a shit on the balance sheet] in exchange for Chrysler. Cerberus, which owns 51 percent of GMAC, could keep a small stake in a combined GM-Chrysler.

My Expectations

2008-11-05T13:59:00.004Z

Dear Barack -

My expectations are simple ones. If you meet them, I will be satisfied. If you fail in one of them, I will pin all the woes that result on you and every Liberal sack of shit I come across:

1) keep my family safe - any terrorist attack on your watch will be owned by you and all Democrats
2) fix the economy - if my standard of living falls while you are in office, I blame you and all Democrats for not being better off
3) keep gas prices under $2.50 per gallon - I want cheap gas, you asshole. And cheap beer. If I do not get my cheap gas and cheap beer, I will blame you and all Democrats.
4) cure Cancer - I want a cure for Cancer... oh, and AIDS. I want a cure for AIDS too.
5) The Packers in the Playoffs - if they don't make it to the Super Bowl in the 2009 Season, I will blame all Democrats
6) World Hunger - this one isn't at the top of my list, but WTF... if you don't solve this issue, a pox on you and all Democrats, sir.
7) A Larger Penis - if I do not get a larger penis in the next 4 years, you and you alone sir are to blame.
8) A Slimmer Waist-line - I would like to shed some pounds. Make this happen or else.
9) A Good Horror Flick - we are in desperate need of a good Horror Flick (without subtitles)
10) Whiter Teeth - I don't like dentists. You figure it out.

The list is short and sweet. Until you fulfill the list above, you will not be my president.

The Fucking Man

2008-11-03T13:26:00.008Z

Dear Boomer -

I was wondering if you could comment on the following:
When I read articles on Boomers, I come across self-aggrandizing statements such as "...we are the anti-establishment establishment," and others such as the mantra "...60 is the new 45." These appear to me and others in my generation as absurd.

I was discussing this with a friend of mine last night. He is an attorney and has many clients who are Boomers. I wondered aloud whether there was any segment of the population more base than Boomers. I cited the grand hypocrisy so evident and demonstrated by the main of the Boomer Generation.

For instance, the very same people who systematically tore down modesty and institutions (many of which represented the aggregated wisdom of the generations) is the same generation which has given us the nanny state.

The same generation that flaunted the ability of Man to choose to play to his more animalistic passions, such as free love and drugs, also ushered an extraordinary era of moral relativism, cynicism, and of all things birthed the rampant spread of AIDS, institutional mandatory sentencing, Political Correctness, and zero tolerance.

My friend mentioned to me something quite disturbing to me. In spite of the most luxurious time in American history

- in the 60s Boomers gave us free love and drugs
- in the 70s disco music and cocaine
- in the 80s Boomers gave us the height of consumerism, the rampant spread of AIDS, Political Correctness and more drugs.
- in the 90s Boomers sold us unsustainable business models which produced the dot com bubble.
- The Boomers gave us Clinton, Enron.

Now in the 00s, Boomers are inheriting their parents' estates, driving gas-guzzling SUVs, and building new second homes with the money of those they despised most.

And now the current financial & governmental crisis.

When the Boomers die off, you will leave us with the bill.

Is it wrong for us to ask what in the hell we did to deserve you?

Seriously. I am not directing this towards you, personally. But to think that Boomers are in complete control of the government, the board-rooms, the faculties of universities, and are receiving the largest transfer of wealth ever witnessed in this country is... erm... disturbing to Gen Xers.

What say you? Do you find it similarly perverse?

Enoch

The World's Oldest Remote Control

2008-11-01T14:39:00.000Z

Remembrance

2008-10-29T17:49:00.000Z

Unidentified Voter Schedules Next Tues Off

2008-10-28T20:21:00.002Z

Commemoration of Islamist Terrorist Victims Could Offend Muslims

2008-10-27T21:00:00.002Z

"Specialist advice is being given to Scotland Yard on how to reduce tensions between police and Muslims during the London Olympics because of growing concerns about the Games clashing with the holy month of Ramadan, when Muslims fast during the day, The Times has learnt.
Experts will also warn the Metropolitan Police to ensure that the planned commemoration of the 40th anniversary of the massacre of Israeli athletes by Palestinian terrorists at the Munich Games does not offend local and travelling Muslims."

I am reminded of what happened to some German friends of mine on a visit to Syria. They were told that German people were always welcome in Syria after what they had done to the Jews.

Halloween from Hell, الغول

2008-10-26T14:21:00.002Z

Muskets in Hand, Principles in Mind

2008-10-23T11:49:00.004Z

A Pauper's Grave for You, Sir.

2008-10-22T13:15:00.001Z

This Just in from INGSOC

2008-10-13T15:50:00.005Z

Fluffers & Zombies... oh, and Old People Too

2008-10-11T19:40:00.004Z

Three reasons the Post-Systemic Meltdown will not be similar to the 1930s:

1) we are a now a nation of pansies. wusses. coddled to death by helicopter-parents and convenience stores. we don't know how to hunt, by and large, farm, by and large, or forage (except on the intardtubes). men are now, by and large, geldings, thanks to Mother State and the programs which grind our boys into poor analogs of girls. not a real stout bunch.

2) imagine a world where distribution of "Allswell" (Neal Stephenson-ism from the book Anathem) in all of its forms is interrupted. Imagine 35% of the population in mass withdrawal. Would make for a really bad nation-wide trip.

3) imagine all the older folks finding themselves penniless and looking toward the kids they never had (or aborted) for help.

It would look more like a color version of "Night of the Living Dead" than a re-run of the 1930s.

The Trough & the Pig

2008-10-10T12:48:00.003Z

Right.

2008-10-08T21:28:00.002Z

Obituary of the Late Mr. Common Sense

2008-10-06T13:22:00.000Z

Authored by Anon - H/T Dick Rietberger

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.'

When Only an Expletive Will Do

2008-10-06T12:10:00.002Z

An Intergenerational Dialog

2008-09-30T11:52:00.006Z

"Well, they have to do something!"

"Why?"

"Well, for one think of the people banking on Social Security... "

"That's not me. Gen-X-ers know there won't be any such thing when we retire anyway."

"Well. What about pensions?"

Pensions? Ha! There is no such thing in our world... unless you're a teacher or government worker."

"Social Services?"

"What about them?"

"If we don't have some sort of fix, we'll have to cut back!"

"And? Look... you guys voted these fucks into office. You guys don't want to fix anything, in asmuch as it fucks with your pensions or worse Social Security. Why would we be motivated to make sure you have a cushy retirement when you created this mess? Why should we want any part of paying that bill? Fuck you! We don't have anything anyway. You guys have had your way for far too long."

"My 401k is crashing!"

"Mine is empty."

"Well, that's brutal."

"No. That's reality. As far as I am concerned, let the system crash. Why prop it up? Let's get this over with and do a hard-reboot. What was the ratio of wage-earner to retiree when you were working?"

"I dunno... 3 to 1"

"Do you know what it is now that you selfish zombies failed to replenish the ranks?"

"No. I don't."

"And now you want us to prop up your retirement?"

"Erm..."

"Well, fuck that."

Showdown in the Shithole

2008-09-29T19:05:00.002Z

Das Boot

2008-09-26T21:02:00.002Z

The Bank of Maxell

2008-09-26T12:08:00.005Z

In the mid-nineties, I worked for a promotions company in Phx, AZ, as a Promotions Coordinator. I was the guy who maintained a program called Maxell Points.

The program worked like this: people would purchase Maxell products, such as cassette tapes (yes, these were still the rage in the early-nineties), and with every purchase the customer would receive a set number of Maxell Points. The points would then be affixed to a redemption form which looked rather cool and came at the back of a product catalog full of t-shirts, caps, coolers, lamps, cassette decks, etc. The participant would affix the stickers, tally them, and send them in to redeem for a given product in the catalog.

The promotion was a hit.

One day, I started to receive boxes of points from the processing center. This was odd, so I called the client and explained that I was unable to see the fire exit any longer for all of the 3 foot high boxes stacked around my desk. I indicated there must be thousands of consumers represented by the stacks of now loose leaf paper with stickers affixed to them, stapled and tallied in pen, the spiral notebooks full of points, and the letters written by hand asking Maxell to honor the points even though they weren't affixed to the official tally sheets (which were no longer to be found... and for which no more would be printed). The client asked me to review the terms. Especially the expiry date on the promotion. The date had passed.

"So, what should I do with these?" I asked naively. "Do you want me to respond with a form letter or anything, indicating the promotion has expired?"

"Incinerate them. They are worthless," she replied.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. If they can't read... just incinerate them."

The expiry date has passed us by.

Resurrecting Roosevelt - Back by Popular Demand

2008-09-16T12:04:00.001Z

This Just In from INGSOC

2008-09-15T16:02:00.001Z

Ir de Compras

2008-09-14T11:34:00.001Z

Performance Review

2008-09-12T19:06:00.002Z

"Hi!"

"Well 'hello to you too. What's up?"

"Oh, you know... just thought I'd stop in and see what's going on. So, how's your day?"

"Fine. Just fine. Working on these reports for the end of the quarter."

"Oh. You know. I could help you with those."

"Oh... erm... well, I appreciate the offer, but..."

"Seriously. I could do those for you."

"Um. It's no problem. Really. But I guess 'thanks' for offering."

"Sure."

"How are you clients doing?"

"Huh?"

"Your clients. How's it working out for them? They happy? they pleased as punch with the service your giving them?"

"Oh. Ummm. I guess they're alright."

"Huh?"

"Well, they must be alright. They're quiet anyway!"

"Oh. Well, what projects are you working on?"

"Huh?"

"Projects. I know we have a ton of them. How're those going? Any of them coming under-budget and on time?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean 'what do you mean?' ?"

"Well, I just assembled a blue-ribbon panel to look into some of the projects."

"What the hell is a blue-ribbon panel?"

" A blue-ribbon panel is something I do when things aren't working out because of things and stuff and then I get some people to look into it."

"Look into it? That sounds pretty passive."

"Well, i wouldn't call it passive. I have them hold hearings and stuff."

"So, you haven't answered my question."

"What question?"

"How are your projects going?"

"Ahh... they're goin'."

"Hey... I meant to ask you: whatever happened to that one thing you said you were going to start doing?"

"Which thing?"

"You know: last quarter you came in asking if you could expand your responsibilities to include..."

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH, that! Yeah. I, um, well, I kinda got tied up with all the clients and projects and stuff. So I never really got around to taking care of that."

"Erm. I could've just continued doing it, you know."

"Well, I just thought I could shift some of your stuff to me. You know? I just wanted to be of service. Make sure it got done, so you wouldn't have to worry about it. I do have my MBA, you know. And so, shit like this is no problem for me."

"You just said you didn't get to it yet."

"Fine! You're right. I couldn't get to it yet. But that doesn't mean I can't do it."

"But it didn't get done, did it?"

"No, it didn't. Hey are you sure you don't want me to handle those reports for you?"

"I think you have your hands full. I think you can't even perform your core responsibilities, much less all of these additional responsibilities. Much less all of the other responsibilities you are asking to take on."

"Well, look. I have really good intentions."

"Oh. In that case..."